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Posted on 02.12.2015
Cleveland Hopkins International Airport

Ahhh...friendly airport staff!  I'm so not used to it, coming from NYC.  I had a few people come up to me and asked if I needed help, just because I looked puzzled (which is my normal face).  Just to compare, at Newark Airport my friend asked a worker there, where the nearest ATM machine was, he  pointed at a random spot behind him and kept walking.

Sure, CLE has its probs; how about the PA announcer who can't speak English?  You would think an airport would have someone speaking very clear and slow. The one (and only) gentleman sounds as if he just hopped off a plane disguised as a head of lettuce from a third world nation.  His English is so bad that you wonder who in their right mind would allow him to pick up the microphone--and he's been here for over a decade.  They have a woman that's simply annoying..."boarding and deeeeeeeeeeppppppppaaaaaaaaaarrrttuureee," trust me, you'll know who she is when you hear her. 

Lets talk about the people movers connecting the C and D concourses. The airport used to brag about how the walkway was the longest underground airport tunnel in the world. That hasnt been brought up in years due to the embarassment of the moving escalators always been broken. I counted one being closed down for 24 days. Not even kidding.  I love the reactions when people have to walk a quarter mile pulling their bag on carpet.

The Cleveland Hopkins International Airport Parking garages, the ones connected to the terminal, lack any kind of RFID tag, EZ-Pass, FastPass or any other automated payment system.  So, I write the airport website.  The assistant manager for parking operations gives the standard form letter reply..."we'll look into it."  BS, two years later it's business as usual.  There's further layers of bureaucracy when you look at the broken clock on the wall.  The airport's response is that their contractor for the "airport's time management system," would replace it. Time management system. Am I laughing, or rolling my eyes?

You can get a CLE Airport hotel room if you want; but go ahead and come here - if only for the unintentional comedy.



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