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O'Hare, Oh So Hairy Tell A Friend   |  << Back
Posted on 11.13.2015
Can You Spell Stress?

Here we go, let's rip ORD a new one, because they'll do it to you if they get the chance. There are the famous delays. and cancellations. For even a fairy sprinkle of rain. It already took me 45 minutes to get here from downtown. Why does this never happen at Midway? And give yourself lots of time for your layover, because your bags will never make it to your connecting flight in less than two hours. The crowds! Especially the TSA line, which is worse than your worst visit to the DMV ever. The sight of angry baggage handlers throwing your luggage forcefully to the ground is a sight to warm the hardest heart. All the airport staff are so friendly - NOT. No free wifi, either. The bathrrom stalls have automated seat cover changers, but that's like saying your cheating, drunken boyfriend can pull a rabbit out of a hat.

O'Hare airport parking cost is not bad if you use the coupon from their site, but that is not considering the ORD parking experience itself. It generally takes 15 minutes, or is supposed to, so plan for that. The shuttle drivers, however, truly don't mind and you don't matter. They stop when the whim strikes, and take as long as they like, not even quickening their step in response to passengers in virtual tears about missing their flights. Threats, fury, nothing works. They just laugh and malinger while y'all lose your minds. Back at  the depot, people are standing around waiting for their cars to be found, some of them for hours, looking exhausted and demented. When you are finally reunited with your car, how is it possible for it to have so much bird poo on it? Was Hitchcock here?

Better to book yourself a park and fly, and run the ORD gauntlet like a human, after a good night's rest in an O"Hare airport hotel, with parking and security for your car all taken care of.




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